How Not to Be Shy – The Guide You Were Looking For

How Not to Be Shy

The shy are frequently considered to be unfriendly, distant or unattractive. Although shyness is a normal trait but there’s a common habit of telling people to notto be shylike it’s a trait of personality required to be able to move through the challenges of life.

However, nobody would ever consider giving a person who is socially active how to become a little more private.

The research behind shyness has shown that this type of personality isn’t just due to genetics. In reality less than 33% of shyness can be passed down through the generations.

Researchers have discovered that environmental factors influence. Since shyness is passed down through generations and is also a result of genetics in the first place, it can be altered.

Is Shyness a Trait That Needs to Be Alleviated?

The question is: Is shyness a condition that requires to be addressed? It is to assume that it needs to be treated is to presume that those who are shy suffer due to it.

The majority of experts believe that shyness is only a problem If the person suffering from it experiences social anxiety due to it. In other cases, it’s an ordinary kind of personality that doesn’t have to be fixed.

They can make people uncomfortable, which can lead to a desire to “fix” the trait. However, it is only worth being addressed if the person who is shy find it problematic in their relationships, at work or as a result of everyday functioning.

It’s also important to keep in mind that people aren’t objects, and being shy is a common element of humankind.

The Difference Between Introversion and Shyness

Many people think that introversion is shyness. Introverts can be just as active as the extroverts. They prefer time at home to recharge.

The distinction between introverts who are social and their more extrovert peers is the fact that introverts tend to feel exhausted after social interactions and prefer to be alone, while extroverts thrive on socializing.

A shy person could be either introverted or extrovert. A shy person who is extroverted is someone who thrives in the company of those they know, but they are cautious when it comes to social situations.

It can be contingent on the situation. A person who is shy is likely to look shy to people they are good relationship with, however they may be very cautious about others social situations.

People who are introverted shy may be a thing. In this instance one thrives being in a space of their own and is averse to engage in conversation with strangers because of their insecurity about unfamiliar situations.

It is possible for an introverted shy individual to be socially withdrawn and still be content with their life. It’s not a good idea to think that either shyness or introversion is a sign of the need to changes.

There isn’t a therapy which can turn an introvert to an extrovert. Because shyness is an aspect of the environment the issue can be addressed by treatment when it becomes difficult for the shy person.

Not all treatment is only necessary because people close to the shy person will feel more comfortable around them in a more open manner.

Shyness Can Be Its Own Reward

There are many who praise the benefits of not learning shy behavior However, research has revealed that people who are shy be more active in the reward centre of their brains than people who are more social.

Although it’s generally accepted that people who are shy experience increased anxiety, we’re just discovering that shyness can be beneficial also. Researchers believe that this is due to increased sensitivity.

For those who have this private nature, there’s no reason to adopt measures to alter it.

While many people who are shy are more susceptible to mental health issues such as depression or anxiety It is possible for people to be reserved in their social lives and completely content in that way. In this instance it’s unnecessary to make them change their ways when they’re happy with their life.

Shyness vs Social Anxiety

It’s equally important to differentiate between social anxiety and shyness. It is possible for someone who is shy to be afflicted by stress and anxiety in social situations, it’s not everyone who suffers from social anxiety is shy.

A person who is shy may experience anxiety in social settings, whereas those who suffers from social anxiety has a mental health issue that is defined by excessive fear of social interactions.

Although they might have similar characteristics A shy person could suffer from an aversion to certain situations. in social settings.

They may be more at ease in the social scene and will not explore new social occasions. If someone is shy, they may avoid social interactions but they’re still competent to interact when they need to.

People with social anxiety may suffer physical symptoms that are related to anxiety and fear of the unknown before or after social events.

Anyone who is suffering from anxiety of this kind may be unable to cope with social situations, and may find it difficult to manage them.

In contrast to a desire to be in a group Social anxiety can be extremely detrimental for those who suffer from it. It may also become worse over time while shyness can remain the same.

Shyness is Relative

It’s important to also remember that shyness is a relative thing.

In Western societies where individualism is valued the stigma of being shy is seen as a social handicap.

In Eastern countries the concept of shyness is not viewed as a problem. In fact, it is viewed as an asset that is beneficial to the whole over an individual.

Understanding the cultural differences is crucial when examining the reasons why some people are shy, while others aren’t.

The culture is a vital component of our world. It is also most likely that those be compelled to address shyness when they live in the Western region of the world as opposed to the East in which this characteristic is more widely accepted.

How Not to Be Shy

If you find your shyness a problem for their daily life There is assistance available to understand how to deal with their anxiety and become proficient in navigating social situations.

It’s possible to be taught to be shy, but only if you’re willing to. Here’s how.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

The Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of therapy for talking that is beneficial in treating shyness. CBT can assist those who are shy overcome the negative behavior and thoughts that are associated from their reserved behavior.

Through practice, those who is shy may use CBT to make them more social or to deal with any uncomfortable aspects of their personality.

The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques include :

  • Reframing thoughts patterns
  • Journaling
  • Techniques to breathe deeply
  • Role-playing
  • Discovery with guidance
  • Therapy for exposure
  • Addressing cognitive distortions
  • Behavioral experiments
  • Interoceptive exposure
  • Meditation on mindfulness

Each of these treatment options is designed to assist you in processing and integrate thoughts, feelings and physical conditions that are associated from social discomfort.

Through practice both inside therapy and out the person who is shy can begin to participate in social interactions without fear and discomfort. It is also possible to use it as a complement to other therapies like group therapy.

Group Therapy

The group therapy approach can be used to assist those who are facing difficulties that are related to being shy. In a group environment the shy person can get opportunities to test their social skills in a group setting with others. It could be a great occasion to talk about social habits and share the experience in a secure environment with people who can appreciate how shyness affects your life.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a method to alleviate the stress caused by new social situations. The ability to recognize the body’s ability to ease tension could aid someone who is shy to overcome the physiological reactions of having to deal with uncomfortable situations.

Although it’s not a solution for this type of personality but it might be beneficial for anyone looking to be more social.


Although SSRIs which are selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors, are frequently employed for treating social anxiety, it raises an ethical problem to conclude that shyness itself is a condition that needs to be treated.

If shyness is not accompanied by anxiety around social interaction, medications are likely to be ineffective.

It’s essential to visit an experienced mental health professional to determine if your shyness is now an issue of social phobia, rather than a preference for social interaction.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EmDR is a research-based therapy method that has been utilized for treating anxiety and trauma. Since shyness can be a result of to environmental influences and influences, EMDR can be a great option to deal with the fears that could have contributed to this change in personality.

EMDR is considered to be one of the most affordable treatment options due to its temporary quality and long-term efficiency.

Self-Help for Social Skills

There are self-help solutions for people who are shy. This can be self-help publications, podcasts, and many other sources however, it could also be simply as easy as a few minutes of practice. Although practice isn’t a guarantee for perfection however, it does make progress.

Anyone who wants to overcome shyness, it might be beneficial to go to meetups and social gatherings to get used to socializing with strangers.

Start small and it can be beneficial. Talking to a single person in a social setting might help ease any discomfort.

A gathering in a place you’ve been to before could be a good way to relax and unwind throughout the process. In addition, bringing a companion with you to provide support could allow you to experience new ways of doing things and meet new people.

What NOT To Do

It’s also essential to talk about non-effective strategies for dealing with shyness.

Although mental health therapies as well as mindfulness and relaxation techniques are effective for treating social anxiety, it is important to recognize a few methods to deal with social anxiety that may be ineffective.

For example, drinking alcohol as a method of “liquid courage” or using drugs to reduce inhibition can cause harm to oneself or other people.

In addition, suggesting an “fake it until you make it” mentality around social situations can not be effective.

It is more beneficial for those who are timid to gain confidence rather than the appearance of being confident. Self-confidence can be superior to simply trying to imitate it.

It’s crucial to remember that not taking advice that isn’t solicited is a common guideline. If someone is content being shy, they should be able to stay clear of anyone suggesting they change their behavior. Being shy, like being outgoing, is normal.

People who are shy are often advised to step into their normal zones and live their lives. However, comfort zones exist for a reason.

Many shy individuals, the reserved nature is merely a aspect of their personality and the way they perform. It’s often more troublesome to others than for the individual. In this instance there’s no need to discuss it any further.

How Not to Be Shy – Final Thoughts

For those who are shy and don’t like how it affects your life, further treatments may ease the anxiety caused by social interactions. If you are someone who is shy, remain at it and continue to be.

If not, it might be possible to let go of the shyness that prevents you from stepping beyond the familiar zone of comfort and step into the new one.

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