20 Signs of Conditional Love

20 Signs of Conditional Love

Have you ever felt that your parents love you? send their appreciation to you only when you do excellently in exams or achieve something?

Do they offer gifts and outings for doing the chores?

It isn’t something that is only seen in the parent-child relationship even though it’s the most obvious one. Every relationship is likely to be conditional , whether it’s between coworkers, friends, and partners.

The majority of the time, conditional love is concealed and invisible that the people who suffer are unaware of the existence of it. But , eventually during the course of their relationship they’re likely to be confronted by the reality and see the consequences.

What is the impact of this sudden realization affect the relationship? It will depend on many factors.

Are you an innocent victim of love that is conditional? Do you believe that you’re offering someone love in exchange for a condition? Maybe you’re not aware, but it could be harmful to the person you are offering it to. If you’re guilty, recognize what you did and admit it. It is likely that you have the opportunity to amend your mistakes.

This article focuses on the complicated relationship world and the ways that conditional love can cause irreparable damage to its foundations, without you, either as victim or the perpetrator or anyone else being able to discern the difference. Here are the indicators of love that have conditions to help you recognize the signs of love within your relationships. Apart from the common signs that apply to every relationship, you’ll see here some distinctive ones specific to the parent-child relationship.

Is it love that is unconditional?

The name implies that”conditional love” is the relationship that is based on conditions. The person is conditioned to expect the other party in their relationship to fulfill the requirements to show the love. That is that if the individual doesn’t fulfill the criteria set for them, they’ll not be able to receive love from the other person.

If someone is in the process of who is receiving love conditionally and is left stranded in the most difficult times in the event that they fail to satisfying the terms. In addition, the person receiving the conditional love might repress love as a an attempt to convince them to take action or to get some benefit from them.

However unconditional love is love that has any obligations. It is received and given in all circumstances both the best and worst, regardless of what happens or is spoken about.

Love that is conditional can cause severe mental trauma for the person who is receiving it. It can cause lower self-esteem, and in the worst of cases can lead to depression and anxiety.

Examples of love that is conditional

It will be easier to grasp the concept of unconditional love through the use of examples.

Let’s look at the examples of love that is conditional between lovers.

“You will make me happy and feel loved if you buy that dress/bag/ring for me.”

“Take me on a vacation to the Caribbean to prove that you love me.”

“Come along with me and my’plus one’ for my wedding with my friend. That way, I can be certain that you are in love with me. .”

“You must quit this job, or else I’m seeking a divorce. I’m out.”

“I love you because you make me happy and accept me for who I am.”

The last one is the most damaging of all. It’s hidden in happiness and love that the victim is often unable to recognize the fact that the love they receive is on a preconditional basis. Being able to accept someone as they are is the ideal situation. But, making it the condition for offering affection isn’t a good idea.

Here are some additional examples.

“I love you only if you make me feel good.”

“I love you only if you are successful.”

“I love you only if you do what I tell you.”

“I love you only if you share my belief.”

“I love you only if you agree with me.”

“I love you only if you behave well.”

“I love you only if you support my bad habits.”

“I love you only if you maintain your good looks.”

“I love you only if you are great in bed.”

“I love you only if you love me.”

Love without conditions vs love with conditions

Although conditional love is an unrequited love unconditional love is a gift that is offered with no conditions. In practice it creates a massive distinction between if a person is able to receive unconditional love throughout the day regardless of the circumstances. What they do or do not do will not affect the love they receive, if it’s an issue of love that is unconditional.

Someone who is loved unconditionally is secure, safe and respected in their relationship. They know that, even if something goes wrong, they won’t be able to lose support or love.

However someone who is receiving unconditional love will always feel unsecure. There is a lack of confidence and stability of the connection. They may feel the need to fill a particular character or to fulfill a certain persona in order to be eligible for the love of their life.

Here’s a brief review of the two kinds of love.

Love unconditionallyLove conditional
Based on trustRooted in ego
Provides the freedom to chooseControlling the situation is essential.
No expectationsIt comes with expectations
Feels completely completeLooks for evidence of love in order to be complete
UnconcernedFeels threatened and intimidated
Nothing is demanded for nothingClingy and needy
Feels safe in oneselfPossessive and jealous

12 indicators of love that are conditional

If you’re at the end of a affectionate love that is conditional You can determine the cause by watching for these indicators.

1. You think that you’re not good enough.

If you’re constantly worried about what else you can show your loyalty and love this is a certain indication that you’re receiving love in a conditional manner. If you are feeling that you’ll never meet the standards and expectations, then the love you’re receiving is contingent.

If you receive love only under certain conditions or after satisfying certain requirements, then you are receiving the case that you are receiving love in a conditional manner.

2. You will always feel exhausted.

The pressure to live up with expectations or meet certain demands can sap your energy physically as well as mentally. You’ll always be thinking about ways to show your abilities. Just the thought of failing to meet expectations or requirements can cause you to feel depressed and anxious.

If you’re with this person, you’ll never be yourself , and the additional effort required to keep up can be exhausting.

Sign 3: You are uneasy in their presence.

Since they take away the energy in you and leave you feeling uneasy and useless, you start to be afraid of their presence. You do your best to avoid them, particularly in a lonely setting. They are usually in good spirits when they are with friends.

If you are looking to stay away from the person you are with and feel uncomfortable and awkward around them this is a sign that you are in the conditional love.

4. Signs: These exhibit distinct personalities both in private and public.

If you’re with friends or are in the company of others, they’re affectionate and tender towards you. They are often over the top in their affection and love for you. But, once the crowd has gone away and you are in a quiet space their behavior changes completely. an alteration. They’re no longer friendly and friendly. They return to their usual cranky, complaining and demanding selves.

When they rely on you to appear attractive before others It’s a form of conditional love.

Sign 5: They’re proud of you when you are in public, but they are not so in the privacy.

They’re ready to sing praises of your strengths, achievements and accomplishments to other. But, when you’re on your own They don’t say anything positive to you, and they will take every opportunity to criticize them and make you feel bad.

If someone makes use of you to enhance their image in public, but fails to recognize your strengths in private, it’s an expression of unconditional love.

Sign 6: They’re jealous of you during the moments when you are in glory.

They could attempt to make you look like they are stealing your thunder once you are able to taste the fruits of your labor. They might appear as if they’re kind and enjoy being the center of attention. In reality, they’re unhappy and jealous.

They’ll be screaming when they’re in public since they have to look their best to keep up their image. But, when they are in private, they could overlook your accomplishments or even denigrate or mock your accomplishments.

7. You are feeling gaslighted.

They will challenge your intellect or beliefs, as well as your the validity of your beliefs. They’ll twist your words and turn to harm you. They will do whatever it takes to get the upper hand when it comes to relationships. The use of words such as “never” and “always” is considered the best evidence for being misunderstood.

When you try to express your concern or even have a discussion and they’ll respond by saying “You are always blaming me when something goes wrong” or “You never take responsibility for your mistakes”.

Sign 8: They’re always watching you.

Do you see that they make disparaging remarks on other people? They are always looking for the fault in others’ actions or the person they are. Even if they’re not talking about your personal life to you it is possible that they are speaking in the same manner about you to other people. Their comments on others’ judgments might be intended for you. They might make oblique remarks on others to alter your perception of the world.

Being judged is a clear indicator that love is a conditional.

Sign 9: They’re always keeping track of scores.

“I did this the other way, this one, and this to help you. Now it’s your turn to repay your favor”. This is one method to keep track of the score. They could also remind you of your mistakes every whenever you voice a grievance or make a point of their mistakes. The most likely way for this to be played out is when you make them accountable for something, and they then turn their back on you and claim that you have done similar things on numerous instances during the course of time.

Someone who is unable to accept the past as a thing of the past is able to offer only conditional love.

The 10th sign: you will always feel that the playing field biased.

The odds of a relationship are always against you. You must be more determined to demonstrate your worth. You have to continually prove your loyalty, love and love, even if this isn’t the case for someone else.

It is made you feel less in comparison to that person. They employ manipulation techniques to ensure you are in control and to get what they would like from you. You don’t feel like you’re on the exact with them.

The sign 11 is that you believe you don’t trust them.

While they alter their appearance both in private and public it is always difficult to stay anxious, unsure and uncertain of what you can think of them. Sometimes, even in private, they show their good looks to gain some thing from you or get you to take action to please them.

Their chameleon-like appearance will cause you to feel anxious and it is difficult to believe them.

Sign 12: It feels like you’re being walked on eggshells.

You’re so traumatized emotionally by their manipulative behaviour that you are constantly gauging their moods, emotional swings and downs. You don’t feel secure and confident enough act like yourself when they are around.

If you are constantly watching out at their behavior and tempers It is an indication of a relationship that is not conditional.

8 indicators of love that are conditional in a relationship between a parent and child

Situations of relationship conditions are more apparent and are more prevalent when it comes to a parent’s relationship with their child. Because the child is young and dependent on their parent in all ways There are greater chances of this taking place.

Here are some indicators of unconditional love, which are that are specific to the parent-child relationship.

Sign 13: You’re scared to speak before them.

Parents are often the ones who create rules and guidelines on their kids. There’s nothing wrong with this, so long as they’re fair and parents adhere to the same rules. The imposition of unreasonable rules on children and punishing them severely for violating them could cause children to be afraid of speaking about their feelings and thoughts.

14. They are unable to treat you as an adult.

It was fine to treat you as five-year-olds when you were five years old. As you get older parents must alter their attitudes toward their children. If they don’t realize the need to change their approach and treat you like an infant, and impose restrictions and terms and conditions, their relationship will grow into a toxic one.

The situation will only get worse when the child becomes an adult, and the parent still treats children the same way.

Sign 15: You’re always striving to be the best.

In attempting to meet expectations of your parents could cause long-lasting harm to the character of your child. You’re always trying harder and improving your behavior and becoming better at every task you do to show your parents that you’re worthy of their affection.

The constant attempts to become an overachiever or extremely successful could turn you into the perfectionist.

16. Sign: When you are contemplating whether your parents might say negativity about you in front of other people.

This could be a sign that you’re not certain of your parents’ unwavering love. As your parents modify their behavior according to what the circumstances demand you to be constantly at the edge. You are unsure and insecure of their love and support. You’ve seen the way your parents respond to your behavior in private, you are unable to keep yourself from thinking about whether they are talking to you behind your back.

The expectations of Sign 17. of you are at the level of Mount Everest.

In your efforts to meet their requirements for perfection from you the expectations of them also increase. The more you strive to meet their expectations, the higher the expectation gets. The most stressful thing is when you don’t. Parents will take you down as if you were a pile of bricks, tearing the pieces of you and beating you. This can put to the pressure you feel and isn’t an ideal indication.

The sign 18 is to want you to stop talking.

If you come to them with your worries, instead of having a discussion the person will push off your concerns and tell you to stop. The reasons they give could range from “I don’t want to have this conversation” to “You’re an egomaniac. Don’t be a jerk.”

19. Sign 19: These diminish your achievements.

In actuality when they are in public, they might use your accomplishments to attract the attention of others and to praise you. In private, however they might not even notice it, or more importantly, mock or laugh at your achievements. If they believe that your accomplishments will not bring them fame in the eyes of the world They are more likely to disregard it entirely, and even scold your private life.

The 20th sign means that your parents are in troubled relationships.

If there’s a problem in their relationship to each other, it will affect their behavior toward you. If they’re constantly critiquing one another, blaming each other or manipulating one another, it could cause them to believe that they are individual superiority over each other. The stress in their lives and relationship could be contagious and can affect their relationships with you.

Bottom line

No unconditional love is justifiable or acceptable. A person who is offering conditional love is flawed character and their faulty behavior could end their relationship, as well as that of other.

If you think you’ve been the victim of love that is conditional You can take action to stop it. Setting healthy boundaries is the best defense against conditional affection. It will keep your from being too affected by the actions of the other. For children, however it might not be an option.

Between these events You should be careful not to lose faith in love that is unconditional. It exists in this world. If you keep looking for it, you’ll find them in the most unlikely and unusual locations.

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